So sad... I'm hurt... quiting??? i don't know how to settle things my reactions are violence, i don't know how control my emotions. I wanted to cry but seems my tears wont fall. Wanted to finish my life by committing suicide. My life gone many ups and downs sometimes i wanna go to sleeps in my deepest solemn and never wake up in next. My bitterness in life wont let me sleep and starts to reminiscing until the sun came up i kept fighting but my better me is starts to falling into pieces. I Just close my eyes all the hurt i've been now i will let them take it. One day all of this will be ok and i'll be a better person what goes around comes around more. See what you done to me is a mistake you will regret by doing this to me after all of this you will be my shadow.

Charness! i miss my blogging too busy with my work so now i am here again!!! Here is my short clip video with my daughter Lianne (hay...! dili jud mu lingi) serious watching tv with her elbow nakz its cute baya watching. taken with my phone and here is it.... darah!!!!

Self pity what i felt from myself loving someone that your truly love is hard to let go. That the man you love is not worth it for you he's after something from you. Now i decided to let go to him if he really care for me he will after me to face and get settle with my parents. After all nothing happen from now. He's man just right for me but his worse that i thought. 

If love is strong why is mine is not.? it never beats to the person i loved before. i dont know what happens to me it's kinda abnormal thing but this is how i feel. Sometimes i wonder how it last this mad feelings seguro it bcoz the previous failed relationship i had thats why i am already heart stoned. I finally decided not to open my heart again to any relationship para dli nako masakitan coz i hate to fall-in-love. Focus to my plans in life like going to school this coming 2nd semester and my work a bit of happy bright side if ever, detour cebu for my work ayt now and drive my new year resolution!  

hala woi....im getting worst na jud ai imbes taking care of my 1 old baby sige ra man tawon ko laag i mean ako ra kaugaligon ang akong gipalabi. Im not thinking that my daughter is getting bigger and know she's starting to talk and walk. And not wetness the her growing it is just sad on my part coz im not giving her importance as my daughter. I dont know what happen to me as in wala nako kasabat sa akong kaugaligon ai.... Siguro, i am missing my life before, or wa lang jud ko gatagbaw... I want a better life today which is so hard to reach it. Simple lifestyle i'd asume. Go back to school and learn. A job in good pay. A best mother to my daughter. And a patience daughter. Which is so hard for me to do. Make a right choice and right decision.
hai kalisud vah woi....simple to make me HAPPY after the heavy rains. money or love? i choice money coz love u can always find it and money is a seldom to find. cash, money!!!!

After i finish eating my dinner around 7:40 i proceed to my room were my daughter Lianne sleeping and i noticed behind our window, there something going down and it looks  like a head(a guy haircut) and the color of the hair is gray. I dont know if "malikmata ra ko" or what but this is what i saw on our window. I watch my daughter that she ok then i proceed to our window and told him(supernatural) in bisaya dialect "kung kinsa man ka ayaw jud hilabti ang akong anak kay wa ko challenge nimo. Malooy ka kabalo ka unsa nahitabo namu, amigo lang pero ayaw pakita." I talked to my mom for what i saw and she told me she feels strange also. Makahimbalot jud og balhibo ay! Seguro nagpakiradam akong lolo(my mother father) who past away 4 decade nah. Hapit naman gud iya birthday or nahan magpamisa.

I just have my tattoo with the help of my friend(my classmate in vocational)Tpak and i love it its kinda ouchy but it does feels good! Oh yeah!!! Last week i forgot to post here in my blogdrive that i have my tattoo session last May 13 at the house of my friend Tpak again. The Moon and the stars what i called in my tattoes coz obviously there a moon and stars with something glittery which i like most. My dad call me convict because of my tattoo he hates it coz i got my tattoo without his consent. Although he hates it i never see my foot so that he dont call me convict...so so so what ever... Back to my topic my tattoo is not yet done. But for now im happy naman with my tattoo.

what a title... This year is my first year to celebrate Mother's Day and what is my day on my Motherhood celebration? Well, is such a busy day to me b'coz me and my Mom cook together for lunch and we have a good bonding for this as a mother and daughter bonding. My day is very fine have my piece of mind, having a good companion to my family, a long chika-chika with some of my old friends, i cook with my mom, saw and talk with my favorite grade school teacher ever,  so happy and the most unforgetble moment on his day of mother's day is a Mother to my little angel. I love my daughter so much a unconditionally love to her everyday i saw her my day is only for her and i lived her only to her. I am a certified mommy...

The best Day for me in this year ever.

Baby Alex is need help. I read his story in istorya.net (what else category"breasmilk") her mother cant produces milk and the baby had his surgery in esophagus were is blocked and the surgery is now under controlled and healed the problem is the doctor said the the baby needs milk came from the mother milk or breastfeed and her mother cant not produce milk and since I am a breastfeeding mom to my 9 months old baby i donate some of my milk to baby Alex. When i read about the baby i text Niña(the baby tita) that i am willing to spare of my milk to baby Alex. And she replied afterwards mother of baby Alex called me in that evening(holy thursday) that she was happy to know that i am spare my milk to her son baby Alex. Tomorrow morning, Neil father of baby Alex called me and said her cousin Niña was here in our front of house to meet me and spare my milk. Niña and I talked about baby Alex and i was so sensitive the baby condition now the baby is at Chong Chua Hospital. They are wearing mask, glove and other protective things to baby Alex because of his condition. I spare almost 4 oz of my milk for baby Alex and that was not much but that is good for the baby. I plumb my breast by using of breast plumb. And that what i help baby Alex last good friday.

OMG! Days are so fast i would not imagine that my baby is now 9 months imagine? she's now call me "mommy", she can sit on her on, can now walk with support, she have 6 teeths, love to drink iced tea, at else??? hmmm etc. I am one proud mommy. And i loved being a mother...i love you Lianne Denise