After i finish eating my dinner around 7:40 i proceed to my room were my daughter Lianne sleeping and i noticed behind our window, there something going down and it looks  like a head(a guy haircut) and the color of the hair is gray. I dont know if "malikmata ra ko" or what but this is what i saw on our window. I watch my daughter that she ok then i proceed to our window and told him(supernatural) in bisaya dialect "kung kinsa man ka ayaw jud hilabti ang akong anak kay wa ko challenge nimo. Malooy ka kabalo ka unsa nahitabo namu, amigo lang pero ayaw pakita." I talked to my mom for what i saw and she told me she feels strange also. Makahimbalot jud og balhibo ay! Seguro nagpakiradam akong lolo(my mother father) who past away 4 decade nah. Hapit naman gud iya birthday or nahan magpamisa.

I just have my tattoo with the help of my friend(my classmate in vocational)Tpak and i love it its kinda ouchy but it does feels good! Oh yeah!!! Last week i forgot to post here in my blogdrive that i have my tattoo session last May 13 at the house of my friend Tpak again. The Moon and the stars what i called in my tattoes coz obviously there a moon and stars with something glittery which i like most. My dad call me convict because of my tattoo he hates it coz i got my tattoo without his consent. Although he hates it i never see my foot so that he dont call me convict...so so so what ever... Back to my topic my tattoo is not yet done. But for now im happy naman with my tattoo.

what a title... This year is my first year to celebrate Mother's Day and what is my day on my Motherhood celebration? Well, is such a busy day to me b'coz me and my Mom cook together for lunch and we have a good bonding for this as a mother and daughter bonding. My day is very fine have my piece of mind, having a good companion to my family, a long chika-chika with some of my old friends, i cook with my mom, saw and talk with my favorite grade school teacher ever,  so happy and the most unforgetble moment on his day of mother's day is a Mother to my little angel. I love my daughter so much a unconditionally love to her everyday i saw her my day is only for her and i lived her only to her. I am a certified mommy...

The best Day for me in this year ever.

Baby Alex is need help. I read his story in istorya.net (what else category"breasmilk") her mother cant produces milk and the baby had his surgery in esophagus were is blocked and the surgery is now under controlled and healed the problem is the doctor said the the baby needs milk came from the mother milk or breastfeed and her mother cant not produce milk and since I am a breastfeeding mom to my 9 months old baby i donate some of my milk to baby Alex. When i read about the baby i text Niña(the baby tita) that i am willing to spare of my milk to baby Alex. And she replied afterwards mother of baby Alex called me in that evening(holy thursday) that she was happy to know that i am spare my milk to her son baby Alex. Tomorrow morning, Neil father of baby Alex called me and said her cousin Niña was here in our front of house to meet me and spare my milk. Niña and I talked about baby Alex and i was so sensitive the baby condition now the baby is at Chong Chua Hospital. They are wearing mask, glove and other protective things to baby Alex because of his condition. I spare almost 4 oz of my milk for baby Alex and that was not much but that is good for the baby. I plumb my breast by using of breast plumb. And that what i help baby Alex last good friday.

OMG! Days are so fast i would not imagine that my baby is now 9 months imagine? she's now call me "mommy", she can sit on her on, can now walk with support, she have 6 teeths, love to drink iced tea, at else??? hmmm etc. I am one proud mommy. And i loved being a mother...i love you Lianne Denise

My mom told me what don't take seriously the reality of life. My mom always think of me and cares more about me. Cause every time she look at me i'm always sad she's bothered about me 2  weeks i loss my appetite because what i found out. I am damn hurt and it is killing me what i've been heard about my sister and i thought it was a joke but it is a damn true. My heart broken and my tears started to fall and asked GOD; why you gave me this kind of hurt. I told my self what a mess... Been so sad and i realize after all that he dont cares about me and for her. He's damn motherfucker assuming and i want him out of my crap mind. I want to be happy do i deserve this kind of life? I wish that i GOD gave me black heart so that i dont fall in love.

My heart already broke and can't be fix anymore i dont know how to fall in love again.

March 1 and a very hot day.Morning when my mom and dad went to carbon and me had my house chores i don't feel the hotness of the sun but then in noon while i'm in the room of the brother having internet i felt i'm in the oven coz it is so hot and my sweat running all over my body. Afternoon my brother gave me a task which is withdraw money and pay for electric bill. My face feels like it sore in it and i want to wash my face with a cold water becoz of the hotness. While walking going to white gold coz here no more money left in atm machine i realized that it is already SUMMER.
This well be my first summer with my baby and as a first time mom i want to exprecience how to managed a child and focus ONLY TO HER. And i making a scrapbook for her until she's 18th and the greatest gift for her is my only love and comfort to her. This month will be my koyote! hahahah i hope will be doing good and perfect time to her.

so tired na...
i dont imagine my life ended like this i thought it would be better but it is not! i keep in mind that things is going to good, settle down, things could change, healing the pain and believing to my self. But it was worst that i think i am and i dont understand my self right now... Theres something problem about me or to them? I feel that i was alone and i want my daughter adopt i want my old life back. You can call me selfish but i dont know what to do with my life. Being at home and taking care with my daughter was so tired and my household chores is getting more works to do and  our store is my managed also coz my mom have her training. I told my mom that give me something money but she's refuse to give me. Before i was making kikik in our store but now wala na even piso because of the utang... And im so bored and tired my my dammit house i want to have a job but im lacking in qualifications crap! i dont know what is in my future but i dont know where would i be???i dont know who i am now.
so tired na i want to have a long sleep or mercy killing.

Yesterday my daughter Lianne turned 7 months she can now eat solid food, can play, roll on the bed, knows her discomfort, can speak, and recognize me and my milk. She's very charming and adorable she more look like my dad slight with her father. Its nice when i woke up in the morning and she smile at me i feel that she's my greatest and sweetest gift i ever had. I love her more than to my self now she's the treasure that i only owned.